Subdivided We Stand Meets Marathon Man

Oh no...say it ain't so

Bob is swamped at a conference in Boston so he is probably not going to be able to make the 11/27 posting he promised.  Men breaking promises...this is the second one in as many weeks.  Yeah Tunesmith, I am looking in your general direction.

But fear not valued readers, here is some shocking news that I am sure you are dying to know.  Pam Anderson has filed for divorce from Kid Rock.   Yes that's right, she is taking her cold and impersonal boobs and moving on to bigger and better things.  Oh wait a minute, she already had the BIGGER so it must just be the better she is moving on to.  I am not sure how she will be able to find better than Tommy Lee, Kid Rock, Scott Baio, Bret Michaels and Dean Cain (just to name a few) but I wish her (and the girls) the best of luck. 

And sorry Pam, Mr. Subdivided is taken.  He prefers "they're real and they're spectacular" anyway.

An Outsider's View

It is now my turn to provide you with details from the 25th Gateway High reunion from an outsider's view (but not a Pony Boy point of view - "Stay gold Pony Boy, stay gold").

The night stated out like any other whereby we have to kids and can enjoy an evening to ourselves:

casually getting dressed without the constant tugging of our pant legs, the seemingly endless wails to be picked up, carried or entertained or the ever present threat of getting wet via a leaky diaper.

We drive over to the hall and meet some friends in the parking lot.  At this point, Bob is still suggesting to them that he is up for going somewhere else, anywhere else, other than this reunion.  Once inside, we meet up with some more old friends that we see about once a year and catch up on all the latest developments.  Bob finds some old friends from this band days as well as one very nice woman that just remembers him for being a guy who was either very funny in a deadpan kind of way or very poor. (Hi Cathy, we're still going to search for the terry cloth shirt from his youth.) 

As we wander some more, I get to participate in one of my favorite pastimes, people watching.  I know you're thinking that the best places to do this are Kennywood and Sandcastle (local amusement park / water park for those outside of the 'Burgh) and you wouldn't get an argument from me, but there was something about a 25th reunion, sort of uncharted territory.

Below are some observations, but some of these comments could be construed as rude, bitchy and snarky, so if you are easily offended, quit qhile you're ahead.

• Just because you can get on your knees, bend backwards until your head touches the floor and all the while shake your grove thing does not mean that you should.

• For men, don’t wear white shoes, even if (as Bob thought) you are wearing them in an ironic sense.  The thoughts that comes to the mind to an onlooker is either Miami Vice or a retirement village in Florida. 

• We all know your age, no reason to try to act and/or dress as if you were twenty three when you are forty three.   I think there may be some twenty three year old daughters who are pissed that their wardrobes were raided on Saturday night.

• Speaking of boob jobs, there were quite a few of the Way Too Perky Breasts in attendance, as well as one set of choppers that were almost 'glow in the dark' white. Kind of creepy.

• Also, if you are going to charge that much for a dinner, please include some sort of dessert.  As George Constanza’s mother once eloquently said “We're sitting there like idiots drinking coffee without a piece of cake!”

• At the end of the day it wasn’t as bad as we thought it would be, but at some point I did mutter the phrase “I want $30 of my money back please”.

All in all it didn't changed my decision of not attending my own reunion, despite the fact that my high school friend Ron has indicated that he has a whole year to work on getting me to go. 

Why we tell them not to pick their noses

Well dear readers, it is a mere three days to Bob's 25th high school reunion.  As of this writing, little Bobby is at home in bed because he is sick as a dog (in this instance, Smithers).  Not sure what he has, but it has already hit Adam and a wee little bit for Kate. 

I, on the other hand, am feeling quite well and have managed to avoid the sickness du jour that is making the rounds in our house.  That is quite unusual as I have the worst immune system known to humankind.  I believe (IMHO) that this is all due to a bout with Mono in college that landed me in the hospital for 10 days.

At least the kiddies will be going off to Nana and Papa's house tonight so we can both get a good night's sleep without being referees for hours on end.

I am trying to find something to wear to Saturday's festivities.  Bob had his outfit purchased about two weeks ago, thanks to the great ladies he works with who helped him find some hip clothes.  He does look great and I need to look just as good.  So tonight will be spent in my closet trying to find just the right outfit.  I've also decided that this is the perfect time to weed out those pre-pregnancy clothes that will never fit again.  Wish me luck.

On the dog front, not much luck trying to find new homes.  Smithers just got back from a visit to the Vet to get his usual routine of maintenance lotion.  Want him as healthy as possible before he moves on.  As sad as we all are about what is happening with the dogs (although not so much Adam, he told Smithers he was going to live in a new home because he was naughty) I am even a bit more upset over the fact that no one seems to want to adopt them.  It is no secret that Smithers drives me crazy, but to someone like Bob, he is the best dog in the world and Kelsey is everything I ever wanted in a dog.  I guess we're going to have to advertise a bit more so we'll get working on that.

On to the kids.  As mentioned before, we are now permanent referees in the Adam vs. Kate ultimate fighting championship.  Yesterday he threw a rock at her head for no apparent reason other than he had a rock in his hand and she was playing quietly 

Despite all of the fighting and crying and whining, there are little rays of sunshine that make up for everything else and remind me why I had children in the first place.  Last night while I was reading Adam a book before bed (Skunk and Rabbit and the Scary Rock if you must know) he pulled out his pee-pee from his diaper and told me "Hey, he's peeking out to say hello".  The apple doesn't fall far from the tree you know.

What is wrong with us?

I was recently sitting in a friend's office at work with two additional female co-workers chatting about some the rumors floating around work.  At some point the discussion turned to our bodies/personalities and all the things we wanted to change about ourselves.  My friend, and also the thinnest women in the group, indicated that if she had the money she'd get a tummy tuck.  I turned to her with what could only be interpreted as the "you're crazy" look.  Without going to details, my friend is about 5'4" and probably a size 0, or a size 2 at most.  Most women would kill for a body like hers. 

Another woman in the bunch said that she didn't like her butt via a "junk in the trunk" comment.  She's another one who has a great figure and is one of the friendliest and most generous person I know.

I mentioned that I'd like to lose about 10 lbs but that Weight Watchers just wasn't working for me this time around. 

The last woman indicated that while she would like to lose weight and is doing well in the WW program, she would like to have a more outgoing, tell-it-like-it-is mentality like me. 

Like me??  WHAT?!?!?  It is always amazing to me to find out other people's impressions of me.  I am hardly outgoing, in fact, if there is a party and I don't know anyone, I would never even think about going up to someone to chat.  No way, not me.  You'll find me near the kitchen or wherever the food is.  Just ask Bob.  The tell-it-like-it-is part is only partly true, however, it only comes out within my close-knit circle of friends.

After the henfest broke up, I began to think about everything that was discussed between the four of us.  None of us could see the beauty in ourselves, neither internal and external beauty and that made me sad.  These three women are some of the nicest, friendliest, and attractive women I know. 

Why do we do this to ourselves?  You could say it is because society is bombarded with images of stick-thin women, but this can't apply in all instances.  I am quite good at ignoring the stick-women in Hollywood these days, they appear emaciated and unhealthy.  I know this is no way to live, but still I cannot accept my post-babies body and strive for that extra 10 lbs to be lost.  With everyone around me telling me that I look great, why can't I appreciate these comments?  Why do I have to think to myself that they are just being nice?   

Why can't my friend, who is probably less than 100lbs soaking wet, realize that she is already beautiful just the way she is?

I've made a resolution recently.  I am going to finish my Weight Watchers program through the end of the pre-paid term (somewhere around end of August) and after that I am done obsessing about my weight.  I will learn to love myself regardless of what the scale says, in fact, I may get rid of the scale all together.  Adios!!  I will also go through my closet and give away any clothes that do not fit by the end of August. 

Hopefully this will help purge my mind of this obsession.  Plus I will continue to tell my friends how beautiful they are.  Maybe we will be able to provide a positive role models for our children.

In Sweden They Are Just Called "Fish"

'Hej' from she who just returned from the land that gave us Swedish meatballs, Ikea and my personal favorite, Swedish Fish -- although over there they are just fish.

Picture, if you will, over 120 members of my company's Legal Departments from around the world discussing legal issues which, at best, are only interesting to those who have to deal with them, and even then it's a stretch. 

However, notwithstanding the foregoing (pun intended), I actually had a great time.   We had some social events after our 10 hour seminars and let me tell you, the Swedes can party and still look fabulous the next morning after only 4 hours of sleep.   I will not go into the details because what happens in Stockholm, stays in Stockholm.

As I do for most foreign trips, I learn to say "hello", "goodbye" and "thank you" in the native language.  I guess with my Norwegian heritage it must have seemed pretty authentic as I was mistaken for Swedish three different times.  No loud, American tourist here.

Here are some photos of the trip for your enjoyment.  The first photo is of two buildings in Gamla Stan (Old Town) which is the medieval part of the city, 13th century I believe.  Very quaint part of the city and great shopping. 

The next photo is just of a large ship that was nearby when I was taking a ferry to visit the Vasa Museum.  The Vasa is a ship that sunk as soon as it was launched in the water because it wasn't balanced correctly.  It sunk in the early 1600's and sat at the bottom of the Baltic Sea for over 300 years.  Then some folks decided to find it, raise it and restore it.  Due to low salt quantities in the Baltic, the ship was in very good shape.  It is now in it's own museum, and in order to fully comprehend what would have been required to build it, you have to see it.  For a lack of better words (and the fact that I am currently brain dead) the ship is HUGE.

The last one is the medieval museum, which unfortunately I did not have time to tour.   When you only have two days, you've got to hit the highlights. 

I figure that my company will probably never have another reason to send me to HQ in Stockholm, but if I do go back, I hear the train trip to Copenhagen is worth it.